


I'm not leaving you

by rackwire



Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alpha Negan (Walking Dead), Alpha Simon (Walking Dead), Alpha!Negan, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, F/M, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, May be a bit of a slow burn idk yet, Mentions of Cancer, Negan Being Negan (Walking Dead), Okay but this fic is NOT totally about Negan, Omegaverse, Pretty dramatic AU, Protective Siblings, Siblings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-25
Updated: 2019-02-25
Packaged: 2019-10-07 07:08:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17361335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rackwire/pseuds/rackwire
Summary: [This is an ABO AU! If that's not your thing, this isn't for you! See Author's Note for more details regarding that!] Nadia (OC) is an Omega disguising herself as a Beta to protect both her reputation and her physical being. When her suppressants run low and start having adverse effects, what are her options? Reveal herself and put her at risk of attack or keep torturing herself, much to her brother's dismay? (I add tags after each chapter to keep from getting ahead of myself!)





	1. Goddamn Unstoppable

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y'all! I know I'm knee deep in like four different projects and I apologize! I'm simply writing as inspiration hits me and sometimes those sparks are few and far between, especially being in the middle of college. I just kinda feel like writing a chapter with no inspiration to do so does not provide results that meet my personal standards as a writer, so please bear with me. 
> 
> Moving on, this Omegaverse/ABO trope is something I'm new to and yet completely intrigued by! Because this is a dynamic with no true canon, my headcanons for biology and reference may be a bit off, but I'm doing my best to do these characters justice! 
> 
> This will likely be a ficlet, ranging anywhere from 1-15 chapters but probably no more than that. 
> 
> Anyway, love you all! Leave me a comment if you enjoy!

_“I’m not leaving you.”_

__

_I don’t remember much from that night, having been on the cusp of… well, dying. I do remember, however, how fucking cold it was. It had been raining a while, the downpour having only just subsided into a dull roar outside, around, and atop our makeshift camp for the night. It was only him and me, fighting… surviving for weeks until the other Alpha had come along. It was my fault we were in the situation; he’d gained my trust, I’d begged Negan to give him a chance… and it bit me right in the ass, too._

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_Not literally, though common amongst our kind._

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_“You should… you should go. If there are any more of them in this forest, they’ll--,”_

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_“They’ll take it up with me. Now get your ass up and get movin’, I’m not leaving you here, sis. Not a fuckin’ chance.”_

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_I couldn’t help but grin at his sentiments, though strangely expressed. He’d always had such a way with words. I couldn’t really blame him, I was similar in that regard. “Look, you ass. I got us into this. I’m… quite possibly dying here, I’ll only slow you down, and without my shit… You have a fighting chance carrying me around, sure, but… You’re goddamn unstoppable on your own, Negan,” I shot him a weak smile, wincing as he prodded at my wounds, at his makeshift bandages of cotton shirts and scraps of gauze from a barely stocked first-aid kit we’d scavenged._

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_His face of concerned screwed up into a scowl as he gazed down upon me. “You’re all I have left,” he growled, referring to events quite fresh on our minds at this point. “I’m… no, we’re not fuckin’ doin’ this shit tonight.” Without another word, he turned and grabbed our essentials bag, tossing the hefty conglomerate of scavenged items over his shoulder before scooping me into his arms. I yelped at the sudden and aggressive disturbance of my injuries, clinging to my brother’s neck as he lifted me into his arms. “Ohh, you jackass,” I mumbled, wincing as he took one final look around our ‘home’. “The bat,” I muttered, a groan forcing its way into my voice. “Get the goddamn bat and let’s go.”_

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_And go, he did. With a sniveling Omega hoisted into his arms, bleeding onto his chest, he took off on foot. Luckily, the camp we’d been dealing with was not sequestered among a tightly knit expanse of trees-- they were far enough apart and level enough so that maneuvering through the woodland posed no immediate problems for him. “You ain’t dyin’ today, sis,” he snarled, dodging branches as he went. “I ain’t doin’ this without you.”_

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\--

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“Fuck me, dude, are you _stupid_?” 

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Roaring in the face of the underling, I felt Negan’s amusement at my side. An Omega bellowing in the face of an Alpha. The Alpha in question wasn’t threatened, necessarily, still having perceived me as a Beta. Biologically, I couldn’t ignite a sliver of fear in the man, but in societal ranking? Negan held me high above the rest. 

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I outranked him and he knew it. He couldn’t afford to be furious. 

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“Tryin’ to get us all killed over there? Are you _trying_?” I continued my pestering, all but blowing up in the man’s face as he stared back at me with an unchanging expression of pure disdain. “I mean--,” before I could continue, Negan grabbed my shoulder-- a respectful alternative to snatching at the collar of my shirt as I’m certain he wanted to --and stepped forward. “Alright, sis, I think he gets it.”

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As the rage within me settled, I realized why he pulled me back- this Alpha was obviously not taking kindly to being scolded by a “Beta” companion. Societal ranking or not, many still held the biological hierarchy to heart; it was a problem before the world fell to shit and was ultimately the cause of the scarce Omega population. It was instinct. It was primal. It was our biology; not even the suppressants Negan fed me were efficient enough to subdue the discontent that filled me as the Alpha’s posture aligned-- a subtle yet sufficient method of asserting dominance over a biological subordinate. 

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“I was tryin’ to lead them away from us. How was I supposed to know the fucking stereo was broken?” He snapped back, his eyes never leaving mine. 

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“It was a dumb fucking idea in the first place! You go where we tell you to go, do what we tell you to do, no questions asked and no fuckin’ deviations! You’re a Savior, you know this shit! Not only did we waste a shit ton of ammo saving your ass, you lost us a goddamn vehicle too!” 

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“Him,” the Alpha snarled in response to my outburst, taking a dangerous step closer to me. “I answer to him. I do what he asks me to do. Your title is ornamental and you know it, _Beta_.” 

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I growled-- pitifully, at that --caught again by Negan’s tight grip when I tried to take a step closer to the meathead Alpha. He advanced on me at the gesture, his eyes lighting up at my attempt at a threat, now dangerously close to me. Almost too close... 

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“Fall back, Joe!” barked Negan, whipping me backwards as the other Alpha’s eyes reflected a look of contemplation. He was calculating, considering something. And neither Negan nor I appreciated that shit. “Who the fuck are you?” 

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The Alpha- Joe, I guess -tore his gaze from me and fixed it upon my brother, the bloodthirst having only fallen a few levels. “Negan,” he muttered, barely audible and not without an unmistakable edge of venom on his tongue. “I am Negan.”

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Negan’s scowl softened, his grip only tightening on my shoulder as he responded in earnest. “Good,” he said, stepping back with me in tow. “Good. That is what I like to fuckin’ hear! Now, what I don’t like is hearing you take up that tone with my dear ole sister here.” 

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As much as I hated him having to step in and save me from the consequences of my own actions, in that moment, I was extremely grateful for my brother’s interference. He had gotten way too fucking close. The Alpha in question had a look on his face that only worked to piss the both of us off. _Oh god, I thought, did he find me out?_

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“What’s that face for, Joseph?” Negan muttered, stepping threateningly close to the man. My stomach was in anxious knots as I watched him approach the other Alpha in an unmistakable show of dominance. Negan’s face was merely inches away from the other’s as he spoke his next words, absolutely drenched in venom. “She doesn’t smell right,” he mumbled, his eyes lighting up suddenly. 

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Oh no. 

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Negan, ever the showman, didn’t react immediately. Instead, he leaned forward, his mouth nearly level with the ear of the Alpha before him. “She smells fuckin’ fine to me, Joe,” he growled with a small smirk. Joseph was new to enter the ranks of Savior, proving to be a fine addition to our scavenging teams as well as our ‘Welcoming Committee’ usually deployed for the express purpose of scaring sense into other communities. In other words, he was efficient for the bare minimum of expenses: Finding shit and lookin’ scary as hell. (Note: Not to be confused with Fat/Skinny Joseph-- they’d been around a while. Pretty cool dudes, no outstanding offenses. Not to be confused with this asshole, who had just crossed a major line.)

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As soon as it had started, Negan deemed it over. “Simon!” Bellowed the big man, beckoning his right-hand man to his side. A call for Simon almost always assured an imminent death, the quick and clean demise of others often being considered one of his strong suits. 

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Of course, that being the case ensured an interesting conversation for Negan and I later. 

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No one was allowed to know I was an Omega. It was a rule established shortly after the night in the forest. Scavenging and keeping up with suppressants was made to be a priority after that; Negan’s scent alone proved to be less than efficient at keeping other Alphas from sniffing around. In a world short on Omegas, our unique scents were fairly easily detectable among the masses of the dead as well as the pheromones produced by Alphas. This posed an obvious threat to the life we’d set out to build as Omegas were… well, hunted. Our biology made it this way as well as plain and simple facts: we were the most fertile upon the hierarchy. We were society’s highest bets at procreation, especially in great numbers, and especially when paired with an Alpha. 

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And Alphas, their evolutionary purpose and instinct being reproduction, flew to us like moths to flames-- except in this metaphor, the flame is what destroys the moth and that’s not how it really works out here. 

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Alphas are meant to protect their mates, especially upon bonding; they protect their mates and provide for their heats on a level more than strictly physical. However, those laws failed us before the world had fallen to shit-- and after? Omegas had become trophies, rarities, and while some choose to see us as treasure to be guarded, others viewed us as resources to be used and taken advantage of. Without the pressures of modern society and law enforcement to keep these unruly Alphas in check, existence was a vulnerability. We found that out the hard way. 

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For an Omega, life without suppressants had become damn near impossible. Once an Alpha captures the scent, especially after having gone so long relying on Betas (and even other Alphas on occasion, though less common) to satisfy their carnal needs, there’s a shift in their gaze and their minds. Their biology betrays them and massive amounts of self-control are often required to keep them from acting on their instinct. 

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Massive amounts of self-control that were oftentimes hard to come by during the literal end of the world. 

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And so, Negan registered the ‘shift’ almost immediately before I did. The Alpha’s eyes were now fixed upon me and I swear I could almost see a snarl plastered upon his face before my brother’s mustached top man arrived.

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Oh, great. More Alpha. Just what I needed.

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“Where do you need me?” He spoke calmly, though threateningly as he gazed upon Joseph with a look of contempt. He couldn’t hide the thrill in his chocolate eyes, however; he knew what was coming. 

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“Take Joseph out on a little date, Si. Teach ‘em a thing or two about manners.” Negan smirked as he spoke, though his words were coated in rancor. This was more or less due to the situation itself rather than the soldier in question; Negan was losing yet another man because of me, because they’d gotten too close. He was losing yet another man because his Alphas couldn’t fucking control themselves and it pissed him off. 

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“I’ll hop to it,” Simon grinned, gesturing for Joseph to follow him. Begrudgingly, Joe did as he was told; two outranking Alphas against him? The odds were not in his favor and luckily, he recognized this without issue.

As the two departed from the scene, Negan simply addressed his amassed audience with an aggressive “As you were!” and pulled me by my shoulder into the Sanctuary, marching straight to his quarters.

“Are you fuckin’ stupid?” He hissed, growling in my face. “Threatenin’ a goddamn Alpha like that? Blowing up in his face? Sis, he coulda killed you!”

_You wouldn’t have let him._ “I’m sorry, Negan, I was just so mad--," 

“Oh yeah! I can tell,” he seethed, his vice grip never loosening. “You had no authority yellin’ in the face of my men like that. You know they don’t take kindly to bein’ pushed around by an Omega!” 

“Beta,” I corrected, gesturing to the safe containing my stash of suppressants. We never wasted a bottle on a scavenging trip; any time we’d see one, we’d pick them up, careful with which lieutenants we asked to do the same. There were no known Omegas in the Sanctuary, and luckily no one had thought to ask about their reigning level of priority over the other items found on scavenging lists. Occasionally, Negan would send a trusted lieutenant out on a procurement mission strictly for these capsules-- usually Simon, who he knew would ask no questions and had quite the record for striking gold on scavenging missions. 

Negan sighed, pinching at the bridge of his nose-- an obvious show of frustration. “Ya know, sometimes, I think you need to be reminded,” he mumbled, just loud enough for me to hear. “You can’t change what ya are, Nadia. We can do our best to hide it, but you are what you are. We can’t afford to be any less than careful.” 

I nodded slowly, shifting my gaze to the floor. He was right. _I can persuade everyone around me to the point that I might have even persuaded myself, but I am no Beta. Nor will I ever be._

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We can’t do this forever, can we?” I half-whispered, sidling up to him tentatively. The look upon his face as I asked told all. 

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Negan, true to his Alpha self, was doing his very best to continue his bloodline; he wanted pups, he wanted a legacy. His wives, unfortunately, were all Betas-- though capable of impregnation via an Alpha such as himself, he would have much better luck with an Omega, for we tend to be far more fertile as well as far more capable to carry multiple pups in one pregnancy. I was happy for him, but the truth of the matter was that he couldn’t be there to save my ass and hide my scent all of the time, especially if he _did_ fuck around and get a baby in one of ‘em. 

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“I have about a week’s worth left in there, I think,” I murmured, still pressed to my brother for comfort. The suppressants neutralized many signs and symptoms as well as natural instincts in being an Omega. However, they couldn’t counteract the natural contentment I gathered from his presence. Negan and I were the sole survivors of four different litters to come of our parents. He, the first one to arrive and the only survivor of a quadruple pregnancy, had been a young adult when our mother died during childbirth-- bringing her final litter into the world, of which only one would live. Our parents struggled greatly with successful births; father being an Alpha and mother a Beta, she tried her best to give him the pups he desired, but it resulted in many failed attempts. Negan was the first child she’d birthed and I, the very last. 

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We had been together through it all. We were all we had left of our past lives. 

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“I’ll… send Simon out tomorrow,” he responded, staring off into space. “That lanky asshole’s the only one I trust to get shit done sometimes.” 

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I laughed a bit, feeling comfortable enough to start pulling away. “Do you think he’ll ever figure this out?” 

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Negan chuckled sardonically, more to himself than me. “Even if he does, Si doesn’t ask questions. He’s smart enough to keep it to himself. And besides,” he said, meeting my eyes. “If word gets out and his dick so much as fuckin’ twitches in your direction, I’m afraid I’ll find myself short a right-hand man.”

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I rolled my eyes at the threat- we were alone, I could be defiant -and moved to seat myself on the leather opposite his bed. “You don’t think Simon’s a good potential mate? He is an Alpha too, ya know.” 

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Negan narrowed his eyes at the suggestion, calculating his response. “I don’t suppose it’s something I’ve ever fuckin’ considered.” 

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I let out a hearty laugh at his reply, crossing my legs over one another on the leather seat. In all my time at the Sanctuary with Negan, since we’d figured ourselves as safe as we were gonna get in the world as it was, I’d never considered the possibility of finding a mate. My brain had always been geared toward concealing my true identity for my own safety, as well as keeping myself seen as the hot-headed Beta that was Negan’s sister. Revealing myself as an Omega put me in physical danger, it put my reputation in danger. Negan’s men, the Alphas, could bite their tongues and deal with being scolded by a Beta-- but an Omega? 

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_"I answer to him. I do what he asks me to do. Your title is ornamental and you know it,”_

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_“...Omega.”_

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	2. Enough

“I hit the fucking _jackpot_ out there, boss,”

I had only just returned to the boss’s quarters after leading a short meeting with the Beta custodial staff when Negan and Simon came barreling in, seemingly discussing something Simon found while out and about. I felt a small pang of worry skitter through my chest at the prospect if the ongoing discussion-- Simon would typically send his findings directly to Negan without so much as a ‘for you~’ tag, no questions asked. It was better that way; as an Alpha, he knew if there was an Omega present in the Sanctuary, it was better if no one knew, himself included. 

Negan and I presumed he suspected it was one of the wives, if anyone. We’d discussed on many occasions just how we’d respond if Simon were to ever work up the nerve to confront his boss about the missions he’d been sent on all in the name of some heat and scent suppressants. 

Luckily, despite the stories we’d accumulated, he had yet to inquire… until now. 

“It must’ve been some kinda sanctuary for Omegas before the dead took over,” he explained, paying me no mind as I entered Negan’s room from my own personal chamber. It was unusual for him to accept visitors to the area, but I suppose this was something of a special occasion. Simon obviously had news to bring and questions to ask-- and we had attention and a whole lot of answers for him. 

“Unfortunately, there was still a gaggle of biters roamin’ around the place, so I couldn’t get far,” he continued. “I did manage to grab a couple of boxes before getting overrun, though.” At that, he let out a short whistle and our two remaining Joseph’s entered, dropping two discrete unlabeled boxes to the floor with an interesting _thud_ before leaving as quickly as they came. I followed the boxes with my eyes, watching unnoticed as Negan approached them with a curious frown. 

“I uh,” Simon went on, “I don’t know why you need all the pills, boss, but… ‘Figured if you’re askin’ for it, there must be a reason.”

Negan cast him a calculating glance, paying little mind to his sentiments. The boxes had his full attention now, obviously going over different scenarios in his head. _What the fuck could be in them?_

“Well, are ya gonna open it?” I chimed in, hoping my tone didn’t reflect the apprehension I actually felt. As my voice filled the void of the room, both men fixed their gazes upon me. I approached with hesitation, stopping just short of the box that Negan had his eyes fixed upon. I nudged it with the tip of my boot to test its weight; it had an unexpected heft to it, for sure. When neither Negan nor Simon made a move to explore its contents, I shrugged and sunk to my knees, no longer able to contain myself. While suppressants were about the only omega-oriented product I concerned myself with these days, it wouldn’t be exactly _truthful_ to say that I didn’t crave the commercial commodities of the world before. 

And so, it was hard to contain my excitement upon opening the box and finding a lovely burgundy nesting blanket concealing its other assets.

“What the hell is that?” I heard Simon mutter behind me, confused. I did my best to keep my face under control as I made to explain the item’s significance. _Beta_ , I reminded myself. _How would a Beta react to this stuff?_

“It’s a nesting blanket,” I told him, casting him a sideways glance. “They’re just really soft blankets that are designed to carry scents really well. Omegas use them if they want to…”

“...Nest.” He finished, a slight nod as he spoke. He stood a couple of feet back on the opposite side of the box, watching me as I sifted through its contents as well as analyzing Negan’s expression for a reaction. He didn’t say much as I inspected the blanket, simply observing as Negan snatched it from my hands with a huff.

“I haven’t seen one of these in _ages_ ,” he said, caressing the material with the pad of his thumb. “They were hard to come by _before_ the end of the world.” 

“I wouldn’t know,” spoke Simon, his voice a tad softer than usual. He sounded… sad. “I didn’t even know those things existed ‘till now.” 

Negan and I both looked up at him, confused by his tone. “They’re really not all that common,” I said, feeling the urge to provide the man some comfort. _Not that I know why he’s upset in the first place._ “They were ridiculously expensive; most Omegas preferred to just buy and scent their own… nesting materials, if and when they wanted to build ‘em. It was a dying tradition, ya know. The occasional Mama Omega might want to make a safe space for their pups before they come, but… Casual nests had started to become less common.” 

Simon had a curious look upon his face as he considered my response, studying me. He was probably wondering why I knew so much about Omegas, _still_ trying to calculate _who_ the Sanctuary’s Omega was without having to actually ask. 

“I was a midwife before,” I blurted, feeling Negan’s gaze searing into me as well. _He doesn’t want another Alpha to know._ “Dealt with all kinds of traditionalists, non-traditional families… Ya know, Negan and I were the only survivors of our respective litters. If there had been a midwife around…” I drifted off. It wasn’t a lie; I _was_ a midwife, and that _is_ why I chose to become one in the first place. 

He nodded, buying the story without issue. I could almost _smell_ Negan’s relief at my side as I let slip a small smile at the two men before sinking back into the box in question. The large blanket took up a significant portion of the box, the rest of the items carrying much less individual weight. 

“So, that leaves us with… An _impressive_ stash of emergency contraceptives-- the _good_ shit too, damn; an assortment of random painkillers, prenatals, baby formula…” _But no suppressants._ My brother’s eyes met mine briefly before I shifted my focus at the second box, situated closer to Simon, who then cleared his throat and stepped forward, unsheathing his knife and sliding it carefully into the top of the box to reveal its contents.

“Uhh,” he said, crouching down to get a better look. “Looks like more pup formula, contraceptives-- oh, _yeah_ , those _are_ the good ones --more painkillers, prenatals… Pepper spray?” His eyes flickered as he read the bottle in his hand.

“Well… Omegas needed to protect themselves… Even before the world became what it is. You know that.” I said, forcing a nonchalant smile onto my face even though the emotions I felt as I spoke were truly, very real. 

Simon’s gaze met mine as he dropped the bottle back into the box. Though he didn’t speak it, I could _feel_ his understanding, I could _tell_ that he, for one reason or another, had already learned that lesson. He had seen it firsthand. 

And that’s when I smelled it. 

While the Sanctuary was crawling with Alpha, one scent dominated it all- Negan. It lingered down every hallway, haunted every stairwell, hell-- even the barracks carried the faint trace of his scent. It was all his, after all; having been surrounded by it my whole life, it was unique to me in that it was my normality. It was what grounded me. 

And while I could recognize another Alpha by their scent almost immediately, it wasn’t often that I could stop to appreciate its uniqueness. Especially without trying. 

And so, when Simon’s eyes met mine, I almost couldn’t believe it. There was an unsaid exchange as he stared into my soul; no words were uttered, but there was an understanding. There was a spark. Though, I’m not sure I knew what it was… and something told me he didn’t know either. 

_Pine. Woodlands. Winter._

And then the world was swept out from under me, and I collided with a pair of arms that weren’t my brothers’. 

\---

It was a dreamless sleep, but an intense one nonetheless. I arose groggily, rubbing at my eyes and groaning at the unfamiliar warmth wrapped around me. 

The nesting blanket. 

It was unbelievably soft, softer than any fleece or flannel throw I'd come in contact with before the end of the world. Something so delicate, it felt wrong. It felt out of place in such an awful world, robbed of luxuries such as itself. It was heavy on me, carrying a comforting amount of weight, as advertised. These blankets were thicker than regular fleece throws, some even had small deposits of weight threaded into them for an even more comforting effect. That _must_ have been the case with this one, as it was the perfect amount of heft to comfort my exhausted form. Purring in contentment, I settled back down into the bundle of fabric, enjoying the luxurious texture. 

And just as my eyes closed and my body began to accept its descent back into slumber, I caught it. Or rather, it caught me. Just the slightest whiff of… Pine. Woodlands. Winter. Clinging to the very fabric I’d been rolling around in for god knows how long. 

"...You don't have to tell me who, but if there is one... Is that why? All this?" 

"I don’t appreciate your tone, there, Si."

A huff. “Why all the special orders, huh? Why am I out there risking my ass over this for you every few weeks?"

"Simon, come on, now, I can’t--,"

"Boss, I just want to know if it's for a reason. That's all."

The voices came to a standstill, close to the door I rested behind, the blanket still wrapped around me. Someone had carried me to my own bedroom, let me sleep while the boys... Argued, I guess. 

"There is a reason."

That woke me up. I shot into an upright position so quickly, my head spun a little. Grumbling to myself and rubbing at my forehead, I tossed the blanket aside and shivered at the cool breeze that met me. I slid off of the double bed, finding that I still adorned the clothes I'd passed out in. Figures. 

Approaching the door, I swear you could have heard a pen drop in the silence of the room. Understandably so; Simon probably hadn’t seen an omega since the beginning of the end, if even then. And as far as we know, he’d never been mated-- something revealed to us during an especially depressing resource run shortly after we’d all met each other. It used to be Negan’s policy to hear the most intimate details of his alpha soldiers lives before letting them enter his ranks; he never revealed why, but I imagined that Simon would soon find out. 

Though, we often suspected Simon believed there to be an omega among Negan’s harem of wives, we also figured the man knew better; Negan wouldn’t willingly endanger the fertility of _his_ omega with suppressants, nor would he _suppress_ her heats. Having his own omega made him even greater of a threat to others, even greater of an emperor; an apex alpha with a circle of beta wives under his belt was impressive, but an apex alpha with an omega to protect was a force to be reckoned with, especially in the world as it was. 

No… Simon knew better.

Sighing inwardly, I pushed forward. The two Alphas were merely staring at each other, neither making a move to pounce. Negan's face adorned a casual smirk, though there was an air of concern behind his expression. Simon's brows were furrowed, his eyes calculating, searching for some unseen flaw. The air reeked of alpha; the air was thick with an unspoken challenge.

Not even my suppressants could stop the dizziness it caused. "Hey boys," I choked out, watching as their gazes shifted to me. 

"Nadia," Negan said, losing the smirk for a slightly concerned smile. "How ya feelin', sis?" 

Simon said nothing, simply nodding at me when my eyes met his. 

"I'm... Fine. I hadn't been feeling well for a few days, haven't eaten in a while. Guess it caught up with me, huh?"

"Go downstairs, get you some food in ya. Simon and I were... discussin’ his findings." He said, his brown eyes narrowing at the other Alpha.

Returning his pointed gaze, I scoffed. "Yeah, it looked like a pretty intense exchange. Riveting, even." 

Negan growled. “Nadia.” 

Raising my hands in defeat, I tried my best to plead with him using my eyes. I was still a bit shaken from my encounter with Joe, and this thing with Simon…

_Could he smell it, too?_

Catching on, Negan’s eyes fell to Simon before quickly darting back to me, still leaning awkwardly against the doorframe to the room attached to Negan’s. Technically, it was _my_ room, keeping me separate from the free roaming Alphas of the Sanctuary, but I never thought of it that way; it was where I slept, where I pulled pillows down over my head when Negan was spending quality time with his wives, where I let loose my tears when I just couldn’t take it anymore. Life as an omega was hard before the world ended, life after was even harder. 

Rising from his leaning position against the leather furnishings of his room, Negan sighed. “How ‘bout we put a pin in this, eh Simon? It’s gettin’ late, the wives are gettin’ antsy, you know how it is,”

Simon stood, as well, having taken a seat across from where his boss reclined. He nodded, eyes never separating from Negan’s. “Sure thing, boss man.” 

 

That night, once Negan had escorted me to the kitchens to get a proper meal, he’d decided to skip his nightly wife appointment in favor of having a heart to heart with his dear sister. 

“So, you conked out earlier, huh?” He said, watching as I played with the food before me rather than eating. 

“Yeah, I’m not really sure what happened,” I admitted, cringing as a green bean dropped from my plate to the steel countertop we shared. 

He raised a brow. “That ever happen before?”

I bit my lip. Opting not to mention the curious exchange with Simon, I shook my head. “No, that was the first time. I mean, I’ve been feeling kinda off lately, I dunno. I guess I just need to eat more.” 

Negan didn’t look convinced. He studied my hand as I poked and prodded my food, barely dented by an appetite I didn’t actually have. “Then maybe you should eat,” he said, gesturing to the plate. 

I finally met his gaze, stabbing my fork into the assortment of vegetables and bringing them to my mouth. “How… how long have you been feeling sick? Maybe you should sit the next run out, sis. Can’t have you passin’ out all over the place,” he said. 

I scoffed. “I think I’ll be fine, what happened earlier… it was just a freak thing, okay?” I tried my best to sound reassuring, both to him and myself. I thought back to Simon, his piercing gaze, the scent washing over me and stealing the world from around me. _Do all alphas smell that good?_

And then I remembered my days before taking suppressants. Cringing, I replied in thought, _They absolutely do not._

Negan wasn’t quite convinced, though, still studying me with a gaze I couldn’t put together. He looked… scared. “Nadia, I don’t know how to say this to ya, but I’ve been bouncin’ it around in my head since you passed out and scared the hell outta me and Si,” he told me, passing me a napkin as a stray vegetable dropped from my fork into my lap. 

I watched, an eyebrow raised and a mouth full of food, hoping that making my mouth busy one way would keep me from having to respond to whatever bullshit my brother was about to throw at me this time. _Probably order me to stay at the Sanctuary for a week or two. What does he know?_

“I know you and I know you hate spiels fulla unnecessary details ‘cause life is gettin’ shorter and shorter for all of us and all that shit,” I couldn’t help but smile as he rolled his eyes mid-sentence, reciting _almost_ my exact words to him from only days prior. “...but I don’t know if we should go back to that Omega sanctuary for your, uh… items.” 

My face fell. My chewing slowed, suddenly losing what was left of the appetite I’d had before. The vegetables in my mouth had gone sour, bitter, lost all flavor to me as I felt as it a rug had been yanked out from beneath my feet. I felt as if my ass had just hit the concrete underneath _big time_ , having been knocked from a self-build pedestal for the first time in what had to have been years. _”What?_

He grew defensive. “It’s too fuckin’ dangerous, Nadia! I can’t send Simon out there on his own, the lanky bastard’ll come back with _a lot_ more problems than a sour face and bad attitude, and that’s if he comes back at all!” He said, doing his best to avoid yelling; we weren’t in his quarters, there were ears everywhere, and they weren’t always his. 

I narrowed my eyes at my brother, dropping my fork to my plate, wincing at the reverberation of the silverware pelting the porcelain. “So, what? We find somewhere else to scavenge them? We’ve searched _everywhere_ , Negan!” 

His face twisted at my suggestion, seeming to be purposefully avoiding my gaze. _Oh._ I’d known him my entire life, fluent in Negan’s body language at this point. 

“So, what? I just run out? Go in _heat_? Alert every fuckin’ Alpha that even looks at this floor that there’s an Omega in the building and she’s beggin’ for a knot?”

“Enough!” He growled, his hand having found Lucille, punctuating his exclamation with a deafening **bang** against the counter, rattling my all-but abandoned plate of food. “Nadia,” he continued softly, his wits returning to him. I couldn’t meet his gaze, though, calculating… pondering just what his next words would be. What could he possibly say to make me feel okay with this?

“...would running out really _be_ such a bad thing, sis?” I didn’t have to look up to read his expression, his emotions. He was remembering. He was remembering the smell of bleach and linoleum floors. Nights spent in the ICU, sleepless nights, holding hands, praying to a god we’d long since let go of… _But it’s what she wanted._

I sighed, closing my eyes. “I haven’t been taking them long enough for…,” I drifted off, turning away from him completely. To be honest, I wasn’t sure _long enough_ was, and neither did he; that’s what scared him. That’s what scared _us_. I’d always known that I couldn’t keep it up; the issue was that neither of us knew when it’d be safe to stop. I almost died the last time I ran out, I still had the scars to prove it; neither of us wanted to risk that. If I were to quit and allow nature to take its toll, not only would I lose all respect as the leader’s sister, I would become a target. Negan had eyes everywhere, but we both knew there was evil within these walls. There were always the unruly, those who can’t be trusted, those ticking time bombs we’d never have suspected until they pull a stunt and we catch them with stolen medicine, skeletons in their closets (literally), raping beta workers, setting prisoners free. It had all happened and more; screening wasn’t efficient enough to keep all of the weirdos out, so all we could do was trust that they were around and prepare for the worst. 

“I’m just sayin’, sis,” he sighed, letting his shoulders drop. He took my plate in his hands, sensing I was finished, and slipped from the stool he perched on. I followed with a sigh not dissimilar to his, smiling when he let out a loose chuckle at the action. 

As we made our way up to Negan’s floor, I couldn’t shake the feeling that our conversation hadn’t been held in the privacy we had been relying on. I tried to shrug it off, though, in hopes of getting actual, uninterrupted sleep. 

 

And when I lie down in my bed that evening, flicking on a space heater and curling into the blankets haphazardly thrown there, I couldn’t help but smile at the ghost of the scent that surrounded me. _Pine. Woodlands. Winter._


	3. Saviors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for those reading, i HEARTILY apologize for the random capitalization of Alpha/Beta/Omega throughout the text. my phone likes capitalizing all of the instances and i'm never able to catch them all when i edit on my PC lmao.

“So, which wife is it?” 

Simon and I were left alone together, much to my discomfort, the very next day while Negan tended to visiting a few of the different outposts, keeping his more distant alpha soldiers in check. When Negan was away and Simon was around to do the job, he acted as ringleader of the alphas-- even though we were all, technically, Negan. I was pretty much the unofficial leader of the Betas/workers because they mostly reported to me; Negan tended to come off a bit harsh, scary, _very_ alpha- things that betas tended to want to drift away from. And again, although we were _all_ Negan, the betas saw me as the second-best to the man himself and tended to lean toward my favor since the very beginning. 

That being said, I rarely left the Sanctuary for obvious reasons, acting as a permanent authority over the betas. 

The Alphas, however, as proven- really only wanted to answer to other Alphas. Their second-best was Simon; he wasn’t the apex, but he was only a step behind. And because he actually _saw_ me as a Beta, he preferred to spend his time in charge with the other “half” of the Sanctuary’s leadership. The Alphas and Betas were often mixed in together anyway, so together we stood on the platform, gazing down upon the floor below. 

I shot him an annoyed glance. “What the fuck ‘you talking about, Si?” 

He grinned back at me, moving a bit closer (unfortunately). “You know what,” he mumbled, trying to keep his voice down. “I just wanna know who I’ve been riskin’ my neck over for the last couple years, at least! That is, unless he didn’t tell you either?” he chuckled, turning completely to face me when I took a step away from him. 

I shook my head incredulously, opening my mouth to speak-- I stopped, though. _Nadia, this puts you at a huge advantage._

_You could steer him in the wrong direction, he’ll never think it’s you!_

_Oor, you could pretend like you don’t know either and give him false ideas! Make him think he’s got a friend in the dark, too!_

“First of all,” I continued confidently, turning on him with a plan on my tongue. “You think he wouldn’t tell his own sister if he’s got an omega mate around here? What, you think he’d tell _you_ first?” 

He crossed his long arms over his chest, taking a step back so that he wouldn’t need to crane his neck to meet my gaze. _Fucking lanky, cocky bastard._ “Who’s to say? He tells his number two everything,” 

I raise a brow at the comment, throwing an accusatory finger in his direction. “He only made _you_ number two ‘cause you’re a knothead Alpha! And _second_ ,” I ditched the aggressive stance for an invested gaze, hushing my voice. “It’s a wife?” 

I knew that little show would boost his ego, increasing the likelihood of his believing me. My plan appeared to be working as his mouth formed a cocky smirk, leaning on the railing of the platform as he gazed down at me. “I don’t know, is it?” 

I scoffed and punched at his shoulder playfully, noting the firmness of the muscle beneath his work shirt. Trying not to focus too hard on that, I continued our little charade. “Simon!” I whined.

Chucking, he shook his head, turning back to face the floor below us. “I thought you knew more than I did, chick. I guess I was mistaken,” he said, the amusement never leaving his face, from what I could tell. 

I sighed, joining him in staring at the workers and Saviors mingling on the floor. “I’ll let you know when he’s ready to divulge that information, ‘cause I _know_ he’d tell me first.” 

Simon let loose another chuckle, but seemed to have no comeback prepared, instead tensing at the sight of a rowdy Savior in the crowd. “Uh oh,” he said, eyeballing the exchange. 

“Uh oh indeed,” I muttered, falling behind him in stride as he descended from the platform to the ground floor. I trotted behind, admittedly struggling to keep up with his hurried steps. It seemed to be an Alpha soldier getting worked up over an exchange with a petite Beta woman; she looked to be minding her business for the most part, probably only making her way from one place to another. Perhaps she’d bumped him on accident? As we entered earshot of the conversation and passersby made way for Negan’s numbers 2 and 3, my suspicions were confirmed. 

“...I’m sorry, I was just trying to--!” The woman was clearly scared, her palms held outward in surrender, eyes never leaving the face of the angry Alpha that stood before her. 

“Just tryin’ to _what_ , Omega?” 

I heard Simon scoff at the name, shaking his head as we approached the scene. She was _not_ an omega.

“I’m a beta, sir! Ain’t you alphas s’posed to recognize an omega from yards away? I think you’d know if I were lyin’!” Her eyes met mine, widening in recognition, pleading for assistance. I nodded at her as Simon and I caught up with the pair, drinking in the atmosphere of the scene before us. 

“You could be on suppressants or some shit! I don’t know!” He growled, taking a step toward the quivering woman. She seemed to regain some bravery, having noticed Simon and I around to defend her. “I know an omega when I see one!”

At that, the Alpha made a sudden lunge for the woman-- or, rather, tried to. He was jerked backward by Simon and another alpha soldier who had come to the beta’s aid, both of them latching onto the man’s arms before he could move forward any more than a couple of inches- if that. 

The man, growling, squirmed in their grip as I moved closer to the woman, taking her arm in mine in a comforting motion. She gave me a grateful smile before her eyes darted to the restrained alpha before us; she then motioned for me to come closer, and I obliged, listening intently to the woman’s words. “I think he’s gone into a rut, Nadia.” 

My eyes widened at the suggestion, staring back at the worker with a mixture of shock and concern for those around him. I nodded at her and turned to Si, instinctively taking a step back as the alpha locked eyes with me. _Oh, no._

“Omega!” He bellowed, making another, much more brutal attempt at lunging forward. “Come here, lemme smell you!” 

At this point, Simon caught on, he and the other Savior yanking the man backward with much more force. “Alright, buddy, you’re in need of a time out,” he mumbled, barely struggling to keep the man held. The only time he winced was when he lashed out, which had increased dramatically upon spotting me. 

_And calling me out._

“Awh, come on, Nadia,” he said, squirming in Simon’s grip as he was dragged away. “I can have you beggin’ for this knot like a good girl in _seconds_!” 

“That’s enough from you!” Simon growled, jerking him backward. “I'm sorry, pal, you gotta go in a cell.” 

“I'll claw myself out, I will!”

“Yeah, alright,” I heard Simon mumble, now halfway across the Sanctuary floor. 

“As you were!” I commanded, turning to face the audience that had gathered. “Spontaneous ruts happen, the man was confused! No omegas here, you knotheads would know if there were!” I certainly had no alpha voice to intimidate those around and under me, but they knew me well enough- well, they knew my _brother_ well enough -to understand when to follow an order, no matter who gives it. The hustle and bustle started again at once, everyone and everything moving quite quickly. I spun in Simon’s last known direction, only breathing out a sigh of relief when I was certain he had left the area completely. _I feel so bad for that beta woman,_ I thought. _But at least that threw Simon off. Still has [mostly] no reason to suspect me._

_God bless spontaneous ruts._

_Until they get people killed._

_People like me._

Shaking off the encounter to the best of my ability, I went to turn and go about my business, only to be stopped by a delicate hand grasping my elbow. I looked to the owner, the worker who had just been the center of attention- something she had probably never been in all her time at the Sanctuary. “Ms… uh… Neg--,”

“Please,” I huffed, “do _not_ call me Ms. Negan. I’m Nadia; how can I help you, ma'am?” 

Some of the workers had a habit of assuming that he and I were one and the same; maybe they assumed it to be a last name or shared identity of sorts-- however, that was not the case. 

The beta’s cheeks reddened immediately, seemingly embarrassed by the mixup. I did feel a little sorry for the harsh tone I may have unintentionally taken with her, so I straightened my posture and tried my best to be compassionate in listening as she continued. “I just wanted to thank you for coming to my aid; I knew something was up with that alpha the second I laid eyes on him. I know they can’t help their ruts… I hope he’s not in too much trouble because of me,” she muttered, shifting her gaze to the floor. 

I shook my head, laying a comforting hand on her shoulder; she _did_ have a bit of a petite figure, similar to mine in that it kind of mirrored the traditional omega standards. It wasn’t uncommon to find betas with those traits, but the alpha in question was obviously confused. The only thing giving me height on the woman, being an _actual_ omega myself, were the boots I wore to boost myself a little higher than the average omega height. 

The woman looked up at the action and smiled shyly. “Alphas may not be able to control their ruts, but they can damn sure control their behavior. Throwin’ out accusations like that is dangerous, any punishment he’s got for himself, he’s earned it. Besides,” I said, a smirk forming on my lips. “Most of the trouble’s gonna come from threatenin’ Negan’s little sister. So don’t worry about _your_ role in all this.” I gestured vaguely between her and me. 

She smiled warmly, appreciation evident in her stare. She was a pretty little thing; honey-colored hair and a lightly freckled face, heart shaped and full of warmth. Her eyes were a lighter brown than mine, leaning more toward hazel but not quite all there. All this atop an omega-esque hourglass body? I was genuinely surprised that Negan hadn’t inquired about a new beta wife to add to his collection. That in mind, I tacked on another question before she could pull away. “What’s your number?”

She cocked her head in confusion for a second before her eyes widened in recognition. She smiled apologetically and went to digging around in the bag draped over her shoulder for a second or two before producing a well-worn notepad, seemingly nearly full. She flipped it open to the most recent page and scanned it. “Number… 76,” she frowned, her eyes flitting to the bottom, I assume where she kept track of her points. 

I furrowed my brows, reaching for the battered pad. “May I see?” 

Hesitantly, she handed it over, her grip incredibly delicate. Treating the item with the gentleness I’d seen her use, my eyes widened a bit at the tiny amount of points she’d amassed. “You new here or somethin’?” I asked, trying to meet her gaze. 

She shook her head lightly. “I came in with my friend, Marcus, a while back. Negan made him a Savior almost immediately because he was an alpha, you know, and when he did, Marcus told him that we were mates so that I wouldn’t have to struggle for points in the garden- which was where Negan planned to throw me. And he went with it, of course, and things were all good until…” 

I stiffened. “He the one who got bit a few weeks back?” 

She nodded, her eyes never meeting mine. I sighed, gazing at the pitiful number. How the fuck was she not a wife? This is a _total_ Negan-to-the-rescue situation, did he ask and she reject him? I shook my head, figuring it’d be better for me to consult with him on it personally whenever he returned to site. 

“Well,” I said, returning the pad to her. “Where ya workin’ now? The garden?” 

She nodded again. 

“You any good at it?” 

A blush crossed her features as she slowly shook her head. Our gardeners were awarded points on their individual productivity, if the girl’s plants weren’t growing, her produce wasn’t selling. If her produce wasn’t selling, she wasn’t getting a lot back. I sighed, cursing her job placement, assuming it was a last minute decision that wasn’t hanging over anyone else’s shoulders. 

I sighed. “Let’s find Simon and we’ll figure this out. I’d find ya a new job myself, but no one tells me what’s going on around here.” I watched as she shoved the notepad into her bag hurriedly, seeming to think I was going to take off without her. Amused at her timid nature, I waited for her to get her bearings before heading toward the cells with her at my heels. 

“Ya got yourself a straggler, Nadia,” Simon smirked as he approached us from the other end of the hall. There was a light spattering of blood across the front of his shirt, something not entirely uncommon, but still a means for slight concern. It was likely that the other alpha needed a _reminder_ of his place at the Sanctuary, a service that Simon probably _thrilled_ to provide. I tried to ignore the flutter of excitement within me at the thought of him asserting his dominance on an underling, a more primal side of my being craving his attention (in a very specific way). 

“Si, you busy?” I cleared my throat before speaking, surprised at how calm my voice actually sounded. 

That charming smile never leaving, he stopped just a few steps before me, folding his muscular arms over his chest. “I got a few minutes for ya. Whatcha need?” 

As if on cue, the timid woman stepped out from behind me, bringing his attention to her. 

“This is uh,” I looked at her, silently cursing myself. _Damn it, Nadia, you didn’t get her name?_

“Ava,” she said, smiling a bit awkwardly while still avoiding Simon’s gaze. 

“Yeah, Ava,” I said, continuing. “She was Marcus’s mate, you remember him? Big burly fella?” 

Simon nodded, growing less interested in the conversation. _Ugh, these alphas._

“Well, we don’t have many Saviors with mates fall; is there some kinda protocol for points when that happens? I mean, she was fully supported a week ago and now she’s in a bit of a hole.” I was pleading with my eyes a bit, admittedly, hoping Simon would catch onto my confusion as well. 

His eyes fell to the woman next to me, dancing over her petite figure. I hushed the demons that whispered ‘jealous?’ in my ear. “Honey, you know what happened to the last beta woman who lost her mate and could no longer support herself?” he said to her. 

She shook her head slowly, her eyes flitting between him and me. 

“She ran low on points, dangerously low. Negan caught wind of the situation, invited her up to his quarters and asked her to marry him.”

Ava’s focus fell to the floor, probably finding Simon more and more intimidating as he spoke. Many of the beta workers spend their time at the Sanctuary without having to speak directly to a higher-up more than once. I can tell that was the case for this girl, any bravery she may have been feeling toward the alpha that attacked her having completely left her body. I stood to the side awkwardly as Simon stared down at her, waiting for a response, waiting for even a trace of eagerness to flit across her features. 

“Has Negan talked to you about that, sweetheart?” He asked her, taking a step closer. _Simon’s like a second brother to me at this point and I have no strong feelings for him at all,_ I said to myself, _but he’d better not start flirting with this woman or so help me--_

“Yes,” She half-whispered, turning away from both of us. The response seemed to send both of us into stunned silence; it caught me off-guard completely. _Negan got rejected? Hell yeah, Ava! You tell ‘em!_

Exchanging glances with Simon, I racked my brain for a time during which my brother may have mentioned the prospect of adding another wife to the shelf, but I was coming up empty. “And… you said no, huh?” I asked softly, not wanting to sound judgmental of her decision.

“I just couldn’t-... after Marcus…,” she cut herself off with a sob, one that seemed to have Simon more than convinced- but me? I wasn’t buying it. _Something is up._ Regardless of my thoughts, I moved toward the woman, draping an arm around her shoulder. I didn’t believe her much at all, something seeming incredibly off about the situation, but I wasn’t insensitive enough to completely abandon a fellow woman in hysterics. She accepted my support wordlessly, her cries becoming less alarming as I pulled her away from Simon slowly. 

When my eyes met his again, it was confirmed; he believed the woman. There was that all-too-familiar pain within his eyes that I’d seen earlier; the slightest flicker of an emotion likenable to empathy, something that seemed so appropriate yet uncharacteristic of Simon. “What’d you do before?” He mumbled, clearing his throat afterward. I could tell he was a bit off-put by the spontaneous show of emotion, as well as her response to the wife thing. 

“I was… a pharmacist. I wasn’t a doctor-doctor, like I didn’t treat people, but… I know my meds,” she mumbled, still not looking at him. 

He huffed, stroking his mustache with one hand, obviously in thought as he considered the situation. “Tell ya what,” he said, returning his arms to their folded position over his chest. “I’ll stick ya in with Carson for now. We go on drug runs frequently, but the man’s gettin’ a little senile, so once you’re in there, medication is _your_ business. Keep track of what patients need what, what we got, what we don’t got, he’ll show you where we keep the stuff. We go on med runs frequently, and when we’re out and about regardless and see a pill bottle lyin’ around, we don’t shy away from pickin’ it up.” As he spoke, her features started perking up and she lifted her head to gaze at him. _Negan, you really didn’t ask this girl where she came from?_

“That being said,” he continued, “you’ll be consulted once or twice a week about shit we needa look out for _and_ any shit we just so happened to pick up. That’ll sit ya at about ¾ of what you’re probably used to, still a generous livin’. More than enough to keep ya from havin’ to take a roomie.” 

I could feel her relax at his closing statement and I didn’t blame her; having a roommate sucks. Right about the only way you could get alone time at the Sanctuary was by going outside the gates, and _that_ kinda alone time was dangerous as hell. Not having your own space to go back to at the end of the day was liable to drive anyone mad. I smiled internally, pleased with the resolution we’d come to. 

In the end, I wound up taking the girl to meet Carson, who she’d be working with in the future. They seemed to hit it off okay; he looked pleased to have someone with more education than a little basic first aid at his side. Relieved, even, which I found slightly amusing. After that, Simon and I agreed upon slapping a zero or two behind her amassed points so that she could put together a decent meal for the next couple of nights while we worked out the actual numbers involved in her sudden jump of rank. 

I was incredibly pleased to have helped someone; I still was unsure of her story, though. It stuck in my mind, each gap nearly tripping me when I went over it in my head. I tried not to focus much on it, though, promising myself I’d ask Negan about the beta girl who rejected him whenever he returned.

 

Which wasn’t until just about sundown. 

“Goddamn satellite outpost folks can’t get a _damn_ thing done without Simon around, I swear,” I heard him mumbling under his breath as he arrived in his quarters. I had just sat my book down with a sigh when he yelled out, “Nadia, you in here?” 

“Yeah, hold your goddamn horses,” I responded in a grumble, hopping to my feet. I’d just gotten a second alone after being sewn to Simon at the hip for most of the day, per Negan’s own request. Which, of course, didn’t go unnoticed by him. 

“Thought I left you to lead, sis?” He grinned at me, no real malice on his face. There was no blood on him today, always a good sign, which made me a bit more comfortable despite having been caught lounging on the job. 

“Sorry, boss,” I remarked, reaching for my denim jacket as a breeze fell over the room. We were due for winter weather soon, most of the leaves outside having abandoned their trees and most of our gardens becoming less plentiful. I’d opened a window in Negan’s quarters after I came in feeling a bit warmer than usual. It had seemed a little stuffy downstairs, especially with Simon following me around most of the day. I broke a sweat a few times trying to keep up with his long ass stride, breathing a sigh of relief when he said he could handle things alone ‘till the big man returned. “Just needed a little breather; Si said he could take it, so I bounced.” 

“His goddamn people aren’t too keen on the new lieutenant. Or maybe the new lieutenant ain’t too keen on his people, I don’t know, but they’d _both_ better get used to each other soon or it ain’t gonna be pretty,” he growled, setting Lucille down gingerly on his bed. 

“Why don’t you send ‘em back over there, then?” I asked, pulling my jacket tighter around me as another wind crept through the open window. 

“I need him here,” he said, scratching at his beard in thought. “He’s not just a lieutenant, Nadia, he _gets. Shit. Done._ Which is apparently too much to ask of other fuckin’ people. Besides, this new guy’s just a temp anyway. I’m hopin’ D might be down to take on the responsibility one day, it’ll keep him the _fuck_ away from Sherry.”

I laughed. “You worried ‘bout those two? You knew that was a risky fuckin’ move, but you did it anyway. Almost sounds like it’d be your own damn fault.” 

He narrowed his eyes at me, but ultimately dropped the subject. _No one_ else could talk to him that way, hell- I wasn’t _really_ supposed to, but we were alone. He and I both knew the act was tiring; we were still people underneath it all.The lower in rank you are, the more often you can drop your guard, show a little weakness and empathy. That wasn’t often for Negan, unfortunately. It wasn’t _all_ that often for me, but I made it work. 

“I did pass Simon on the way up here,” he said, his face finding that charming ole grin again. “Who was the poor bastard?” 

I snorted. Of course. “The blood on his shirt? I told him to change that shit before you got back, not surprised he didn’t listen.” 

Negan chuckled and motioned for me to go on, obviously amused already.

“Fuckin’ Dave went into a rut, man! Had to put his ass in a cell!” I said, having a seat on one of Negan’s leather-adorned chairs, pulling my jacket tighter around me- both at the chill from the window now right beside me and at the memory of the alpha’s face as he lunged at me… Surely, he was just confused. 

_Right?_

Negan’s eyes widened at the statement, the amusement remaining on his face, however, as he took a seat right across from me. “No shit! Outta nowhere?”

“Yes!” I nodded, still barely believing it myself. “Surprised both me and Simon! I mean, I know that shit happens sometimes, but we’ve been here how long? How many of those have we seen?” 

“Shit, close to none,” he scoffed, shaking his head. “Anyone get hurt? Or…” He left the rest of his sentence fall off, his eyes traveling to my neck. There wasn’t anything there, though, nor would there be for a _while_ , I hoped. Another breeze engulfed my shoulders, coaxing a shiver from me.

I shook my head. “Nah, we caught it just in time. He was pretty out of it-- was terrorizin’ some poor beta woman, callin’ her an omega just ‘cause she had a similar figure to one.”

“Je-sus!” Negan laughed, sounding more exasperated than amused. “That kinda shit can get someone killed!”

I nodded, turning to look out of the window. “Yeah… he _did_ jump at me, calling me out, but… I don’t think anyone bought it. Hell, I don’t think he was in his right mind, not completely.” 

“It’s possible. Ruts can make your brain go a little foggy. ‘Doubt he’ll even remember it if he gets out.”

I looked up. “ _If?_ ”

Negan shrugged, glancing at an analog clock across the room. “He endangered the safety of a woman-- TWO women. Threatened a higher-up. Went into a rut without notifying _anyone_ , which kinda fuckin’ endangers everyone. Also, the dude was a goddamn creep, I’m willin’ to bet _good fuckin’ money_ that the Sanctuary will be a safer place without him roaming the halls.” 

I sighed but had to agree. He was a risky alpha to bring in; Simon _never_ liked him. Any time they were within ten feet of each other, he’d pout and get all angry-twitchy. It was kind of cute.

 _No, it fucking wasn’t. Shut up._

_...It was._ One more piercing gust and I turned to slam the window closed again, grumbling as I did so.

As Negan moved to stand from his seat, I followed, catching his attention as a thought came over me. “Hey, Negan, you remember that Savior that got bit a few weeks back? Had a mate and everything?” 

“Yeah, a fuckin’ shame. He was top-guy material, for sure. Only weakness was that little beta he had followin’ him around the Sanctuary like a damn lost puppy.” He said, approaching the door and pulling it open so that I could lead us out. 

“You ever talk to his mate? Simon and I found her today, she was real low on points. Turns out she used to be a pharmacist, so we set her up with Carson, she’s all good now but… I dunno, just wonderin’ why it wasn’t a Negan-to-the-rescue situation.” I spoke fast despite the slow pace we took as we wandered the halls, nearing the platform overlooking the Sanctuary floor- Negan's favorite place to preside. 

He hummed in response, not giving me much attention. “Ya know, I had plans to do that this week; was gonna give her a fighting chance in the gardens, seeing as how most of Marcus’s points rolled over onto her when he got taken down. You think I don’t _see_ how most of these women look at me, Nadia?” he asked, finally stopping to look at me as he spoke. 

I simply stared back at him, though, unsure of how to proceed. 

“They’re _scared_. None of ‘em _want_ to be in there. None of ‘em woulda said yes if they hadn’t gotten to the point at which they realized they couldn’t do it on their own. And that one? She’s a pretty thing, but there ain’t any less fear in her eyes than in the rest of ‘em. And you know I don’t ask twice.”

I nodded slowly as his brown eyes held my own. “I was gonna save her, just bidin’ my time. Waitin’ till her only answer was yes.”

“And how’d that work out for you last time?” I spat, the whole Dwight and Co. situation being a sore spot; _I_ was the one who found the three of ‘em and brought ‘em in. We’d all become somewhat close before my brother had to come along and use his fuckin’ scare tactics on the family. They were struggling, though; I don’t think his _only_ intention was to add a new sister wife to the collection, but part of me would have given anything to have been able to just _talk_ to the girl first. Maybe I could have changed something.

_Maybe…_

Negan’s eyes lit up in amusement at the comment, a small, unaffected ‘huh’ falling from his lips. He’d reached the door leading to the Sanctuary floor, motioning for the guards outside it to move. The door opened and he beckoned me to go ahead; it was time to be a leader. Not a family.

Not people.

_Saviors._


	4. Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon and Nadia are left alone... oh dear.

“You know, you really shouldn't be out here right now,” Simon commented, his lean figure resting with his back to the wall and arms folded over his chest. I didn't see him approach, but he was a stealthy thing; he'd given me near-heart attacks on several occasions. “Could get you into a lot of trouble for walkin’ around past curfew.”

I rolled my eyes, chuckling loosely at his commentary. “I appreciate your concern, but you and I both know Negan can’t do a _damn_ thing about me goin’ out for a smoke when the hankerin’ hits. I’m a free woman, he knows that.”

He stepped forward out of the shadows, coming to rest at my side. There was something calculating in his gaze, the way he stared at me as if I were some kind of enigma… it was eerie. “Right you are,” he finally said, a sly grin plastered across his face. 

I shook it off, turning to face the fence. We were near the unloading dock, I hadn’t actually come out to smoke- smoking was an especially nasty habit for omegas, and I took that shit to heart regardless of my guise. Simon said nothing, though, about the lack of cigarette in my hand and simply took to staring at the dead-infested fence alongside me. The distant roars of biters drowned out the sounds of a previous nature; crickets, wind, maybe even an owl or two-- while these things still existed, it was hard to appreciate the little signs of life among the constant lingering _death_ everywhere. 

“Any updates on the Sanctuary’s omega, Si?” 

He chuckled at that, shaking his head at the comment. It wasn’t the reaction I was expecting, but I shook it off. “And why are _you_ so concerned with it, Ms. Negan?” 

I laughed, a legitimate, hearty laugh. “Oh, fuck _right_ off with that. Who told you?”

He shrugged, still grinning. “A few of the boys caught the conversation. Thought it was funny.” 

I rolled my eyes. _And no doubt has it gotten back to my brother._ “‘Guess she wasn’t totally incorrect,” I snorted. “We are _all_ Negan, after all.” 

With a nod, Simon laughed lowly. “Maybe some more than others, huh, doll?” 

I turned on him, raising an incredulous brow. “What the fuck’s that supposed to mean?” 

He shrugged again, taking a massive step into _piss-Nadia-off_ territory. “It was just a joke, Nadia. Just don’t think I’ve ever seen you kneel, not without that totally pissed off I’m-only-doing-this-for-you look on your face. And I guess I can’t blame ya, him bein’ your brother and all.” 

I was skeptical of his explanation, skeptical of his point. _Where are you going with this, Pornstache?_ “What’s that got to do with anything?” 

He didn’t shrug this time, just returned my intrigued expression. “It’s different when you know ‘em from before, ya know? These folks fear Negan because they know who he is _now_ , what he’s built, what he’s done. And it’s a lot. But you probably remember the Negan who took ya to school dances when you didn’t have a date, the one who chased off obnoxious beta and alpha boys on your behalf, the one this world hadn’t touched. I dunno, you _are_ your brother, make no mistake; just think it’s in a different way than the rest of us. Not necessarily a bad thing.” 

I pursed my lips in thought. _Honestly, where was he going with that?_ It was something to consider, but Negan and I had a particularly convoluted past. It was unspoken law that he and I were the only ones to discuss it, which we didn’t often do. It wasn’t necessarily an _ears are everywhere_ situation, we just chose to put most of it behind us. It was vital in prioritizing the future; that shit just _didn’t_ matter anymore. It was a weakness, and a _dangerous_ one. One that Simon doesn’t have the authority to discuss, really, but I blew that off. I was tired. 

Sighing, I just shrugged and returned my focus to one biter in particular; a beta worker who had been caught stealing one too many times. I ordered it; Negan was absent on that particular day and I couldn’t provide him anymore excuses, nor accept them. Despite holding a position of leadership at the Sanctuary, execution wasn’t my cup of tea. I understood Negan’s political angle there; mercy, too, was a weakness, and though this particular worker had received some degree of punishment for each offense, we didn’t have the resources to keep throwing him in cells or removing appendages. I hadn’t actually called for anyone to be killed until that point, although it was well within my authority to do so; that was due in part to the role I played as a beta. Betas generally kept their heads down, followed the rules; cells were made for alphas and unexpected guests. Generally, betas didn’t require reinforcement, and on the blue moons under which they did, Negan was around to handle it on my behalf. 

This was an unusual situation, however. 

Simon was there for me when I called the shot. He’d handed me the reigns, no questioning me nor using his number two technicality to undermine me. It was a bittersweet moment, but one that instilled in me the power that no other beta in the Sanctuary had. 

“Are we friends, Simon?” It may have been an odd question, but it was legitimate; it was something I’d been stewing over for a while. When you’re fighting for survival, you don’t care much about friends. The people around you are either helping you or they’re in your way, and for a long time, I believed that’s what friends amounted to. I’d allowed myself one emotional attachment since my last nearly fatal mistake, and that was my brother. Anyone else was a weakness, _he_ was a weakness too, but a _damn_ strong one. Negan was a weakness who could hold his own, and hold it _well_. But we were in a good place, a protected place, a flourishing community that was well enforced. There were families here, Negan had _wives_ for god’s sake. I could have this, right? Someone to make it more bearable? 

“Friends?” He laughed, a goofy smile greeting me as he looked up. I ignored the heat in my cheeks and scoffed.

“The hell’s funny about that? It’s a legitimate question!” 

He shook his head a little, raising a brow at me when he met my gaze again. “Yeah, shortcake,” he chuckled. “Why not?” 

I frowned a little, returning my gaze to the fenced beta. “I’m serious, alright? We just… hell, I don’t know. You make this place a little more bearable for me. I appreciate that, I don’t have that with anyone else. You do a lot for me, ya know?” _More than you know._

Leaning on the railing of the dock, he cradled his face against his fist and gazed at me as he replied, “Well, gee, short stuff, ya got me feelin’ all flustered.” I narrowed my eyes at him, prompting him to lift his hands in faux apology. “I’m sorry, doll. I dunno if you noticed, but I don’t have many emotional attachments ‘round here, for obvious reasons,” he explained, shifting his gaze to the yard. After an achingly long pause, he continued. “...but I’d be lying to say I didn’t have some kinda soft spot for ya, after practically sharin’ the number two position for all these years.” 

I smiled, a real smile for once. “I reckon I’ve got a soft spot for you too, Si.” 

It was pretty silent after that, neither of us having much to say. Part of me was a little giddy at the admission, to know that Simon cared for me even a _little_ bit, but this was among the emotions that I’d rather let lie dormant than actually face. I tensed when I felt him shift closer to me, turning slightly in my direction. My cheeks felt hot, knowing he was watching me, but I never could have expected what he did next. 

All I felt was his hand, gentle but urgent against my hip, turning me to face him. While I’m certain my suppressants had a hand in my ability to keep a clear head (for the most part), no omega could have resisted the clear intentions of this alpha. I spun almost on command, allowing him to grip me by the waist and press his lips to mine, all but shuddering at the sensation of his mustache against my face. I hadn’t kissed many men in my lifetime, but the mustache was definitely new for me. I got used to it quickly, though, bringing my hands up to his face as his massaged my hips generously. I did my best to ignore the blossoming heat within me as the alpha’s touches became more hungered, less delicate, almost-- _almost_ letting him go when he began to tilt his head in an effort to reach my neck… My suppressants wouldn’t save me then. 

I struggled against him, then, and he broke the kiss. “Nadia,” he breathed, his hands still persistent against my hips, gripping me tightly. Without removing my hands from either side of his jaw, I let him as he rested his forehead against my own. “Simon, I can’t…” I responded, just a breath above a whisper. His dark eyes met mine, a distant sadness ringing from deep within them. He didn’t say anything as I pulled away, his hands falling from my sides. I gave him a gentle smile, hoping he didn’t but somehow still _knowing_ he understood… just hopefully not to an unforgivable extent. “Nadia, I’m--,” 

Somewhere behind us, a door opened and _hell_ in leather walked out. _Great timing._ “Havin’ another _smoke_ out here, Nadia?” 

I turned to face him, mindfully thankful yet instinctively disappointed by the distraction. “Sir, yes, sir,” I responded, hoping that my smirk would cover my sins. I could feel Simon’s gaze searing into me, but I knew he wouldn’t tell. Hell, not even I could predict how Negan would react to his right-hand man getting friendly with his little sister-- little _omega_ sister. “Just finishin’ up, though, ‘bout to head back in. Still feelin’ a little dizzy from yesterday and all.” 

Negan nodded, turning his attention to Simon, still leaning against the rail with a frown plastered onto his face. “Simon, you takin’ care of my dear ole sister?” 

I could tell he didn’t want to answer, his hardened eyes meeting mine briefly. “Yep, just keepin’ her company, boss.” 

I didn’t hear his reply, pushing past both of them and heading inside. I needed a _nap_.


	5. You Alright?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a short one tonight, folks! I just couldn't think of a better way to split them up, sorry! Next one is coming soon, just figured I'd get this one out while it was completed~

_Hands._

_Hot and heavy on my skin, it’s all I could register. Dominant, demanding, squeezing every curve, caressing every inch, exploring me like I’d never been explored before._

_Teeth grazed the inside of my neck, not fatal nor threatening, a light pressure- a **reminder** of my biological position, my purpose. To be claimed, to be bred. _

_“Omega…” A growl reverberated against me, goosebumps populating my skin. “You smell so good.”_

_When had I lost my clothes? I can’t seem to recall as I writhe under the touch of the alpha. He was faceless, and voiceless though he spoke, yet I knew who it was on top of me, grabbing hungrily at my naked flesh._

_Whimpers filled the air, obviously belonging to me though I barely registered them leave my mouth. There was a bulge between my legs, grinding into me, an immediately recognizable hardness that left me gasping with need. And boy, did I need it._

_“Please,” I panted, reaching out to touch the alpha above me. “Please, Alpha, I need it…”_

_With a snarl, he had my hands pinned on either side of me, our lips colliding in a frenzied kiss. I shuddered again at the unique sensation, parting my lips for his tongue to meet mine. He grunted into my mouth, a sharp thrust between my legs jolting me upward and leaving me breathless despite the thick fabric confines separating us._

_He chuckled at my reaction, a distinct blush spreading across my cheeks both out of arousal and slight embarrassment regarding my reaction. I hadn’t been touched like this since… well, frankly, ever. He lifted from my mouth, returning to my neck to place loving kisses and careful nips amidst an occasional growl that left me moaning each time. “Si--,”_

_His hands found my hips, a sharp tug sending me reeling backwards through time. I looked down to see red, literally red. Deep gashes littering my hips, one clean across my right thigh, over my pelvis… The alpha above me repeated, this time sinister, this time **frightening** , “Omega…” _

_“You smell so good.”_

“Shit, sis, you alright?” I awoke to the sound of Negan’s voice, hovering over me in my sleep, apparently. 

“Tryna fuckin’ sleep here, creep,” I murmured, turning over to hide my face from view. I knew very well why he’d come in here, these nightmares being somewhat recurring in my life. I didn’t want to face it, though. I never did. 

“Didn’t _sound_ like there was a whole lotta fuckin’ sleeping goin’ on in here,” he said, taking a seat on the mattress. I moved away on instinct, not very comfortable with the sentimental shit. “They’re back, huh?” 

I just groaned in response, not necessarily at _him_ , but at the fact that he was right. They _were_ back. 

“I can always tell,” he chuckled, continuing without my participation. “‘Cause it always starts off soundin’ like a sex dream. Started to wonder if you had someone in here with ya, it actually seemed like you were enjoyin’ yourself at first--,”

“Glad you’re entertained, Negan,” I sighed, my hand tightening around a familiar fabric that clung to the opposite side of the bed. _The nesting blanket. I musta kicked it off in my sleep._

“Shit, Nadia, you know I don’t like relivin’ that night anymore than you do,” he responded, a sadness clear within the drawl of his voice. I shuddered at the reminder that it all went back to one night, one event, one iota of trust given too soon, one _nearly_ fatal mistake… I’d never forget the consequences, and neither would Negan. 

And I’d never forget that it was all my fault. 

“Had a talk with Simon last night.” 

A different dread filled me then, something bitter, poisonous- maybe even lethal. I couldn’t help the way my jaw clenched, my body tensed, and I _prayed_ that Negan could just _let it go_...

“‘Said he’s willin’ to go back to that ole omega house, but feels he needs himself a partner. Mentioned you, actually.”

 _That_ woke me up. “Huh?” I grunted, nearly flinging the blankets from my bed, twisting to stare at him.

“‘Said the way you handled yourself the last few times I left has been _commendable_. He thinks the two of you can do it, if given the right resources.”

I pouted. “Negan, you’re not… You ain’t thinkin’ of sendin’ me out there with him? Are you?” 

He pursed his lips in thought, but the hesitation alone provided me an answer. Negan _never_ hesitates. He knows what he’s going to say _conversations_ before he’s even gotta say it. “Listen, sis, I don’t wanna do this to ya,” he went on, trying desperately to catch my gaze as my eyes chased after anything in the room that _wasn’t_ him. “I don’t even want you takin’ the fuckin’ things, me havin’ to send you out there after them yourself? You think I _want_ to do that shit to you?” 

“So then why are you?” I threw back, finally meeting his eyes and staring _daggers_ into his soul. _Come on, Negan, cut to the fucking chase._ “Are you trying to prove a point here?” 

Though his face read anger, his eyes held discomfort. Though I wanted so desperately to hate him, I knew he hadn’t come to this decision painlessly. There was something else. He was hesitant still. _There’s something else._ “I’m going with you, alright? It’s a two day trip max, I imagine there’ll be some kinda bedding there if we can get past the herd at the entrance; Simon laid it all out for me, and… we can do it. But we get what we can, in. _Two. Days,_ Nadia, no more than that. I still gotta figure out who the _hell_ we’re leavin’ to run this place, with all three of us gone…” 

I snickered at that. “Hey, it’s not my people you gotta worry about. It’s those meathead alphas who think the world revolves around the size of their fuckin’ knot. Get Gavin to handle ‘em, he’s… kinda scary, when he wants to be. Arat’s good with the betas, too.” 

Negan seemed to mull it over for a moment before dragging a hand down his face with an exasperated sigh. “I don’t know, sis. We’ll figure it out before the end of the day, I’ll call a fuckin’ meeting.” 

Skeptical, I asked, “End of the day? Why the hurry?” 

He sighed again, standing up this time. “That’s the other thing,” he said, grabbing Lucille from where he’d apparently left her leaning against the bedframe. “We’re leaving tomorrow.”

_Well, fuck._


	6. Chapter 6

_"Refusing to kill is what's gonna wind up gettin' ya killed out here, sis," Negan told me, in search of something in the junkyard, though he hadn't revealed what._

_"Negan, I'm just... I'm an Omega, I'm not a fighter! This world... The odds are against me."_

_"First of all," he mumbled, fishing through a random pile of junk lined up along the barbed fence. "You're a beta now. Don't fucking forget it. You let that shit slip in front of the wrong person and you're dead before you hit the ground."_

_I nodded obediently._

_"Second... You're damn right the odds are against you in this world, Nadia, that's why you got to change." He paused to fight with something caught on the fence, small metallic clangs surrounding us as he attempted to tug it free. "You gotta learn to beat this life before it beats you. Step one is keepin' your biology at bay, just for now. We'll figure the rest out later. Hand me my bat."_

_Raising a brow, I did as he asked, reaching for the well loved hunk of wood that he'd left resting on the dusty ground- that would be the last time he did so, though. As he dressed the wood in his freshly acquired barbed wire, gloves protecting his large hands, his eyes sparkled with a newfound appreciation for the weapon. Holding it up, watching the light of the moon reflect against the barbs, he smiled._

 

I winced at the sudden, unfamiliar warmth around me in the form of a strong arm draped around my figure as I stirred in my sleep. Unwilling to face what I knew in the back of my mind to be the source, I allowed myself to relax, just for a moment, breathing in the woodsy scent of the Alpha beside me. _Simon..._

Fuck, it's Simon. 

My eyes opened, though my body didn't stir. I wasn't sure when I'd gotten so close to him, but it must have been around the time my brother had fallen asleep on the other side of me, pushing me closer to Simon as he drove us toward our destination. Without further movement, I said to him quietly, "If you don't knock that shit off, I'm gonna break your arm." 

Simon only chuckled, though, unfazed by my threat. His grip loosened, but his arm remained. "Sorry, doll, if you're gonna be all over me, this is the most comfortable position for me. Ya know, as the driver?" 

I rolled my eyes but didn't move, on some level enjoying the proximity to him. I tried to tell myself it was only due to the biting coldness of the fastly approaching winter; Alphas were naturally hot, some exude body heat like a human furnace and Simon was no exception to this. Snuggled up to his side, on top of the many layers I'd dressed myself in, had me all but ready to pass out again as I had begun to let myself relax one more time...

"Nadia," he said, quietly. Almost hesitantly. 

I only grunted in response, feeling myself crawl deeper into the void. 

"About the other night..." 

I opened my eyes. 

"I'm sorry, I probably shouldn't'a... Pounced on ya like that, it's just..." He sighed, his arm around me tightening for just a second. "Well, I guess I got more than just a soft spot for ya." 

My eyes flitted to Negan's sleeping figure, wondering if he was actually asleep or if he was hearing this shit too. I considered elbowing him or otherwise budging him for attention, but a sudden and loud snore coming from his direction pretty much answered my questions regarding his level of consciousness. With another eye roll, I sighed. "A soft spot or a hard spot there, Si?"

He scoffed. "What are you implying, shortcake?"

"That you're just itchin' to get laid. When's the last time you had some decent pussy, huh?"

His grip on the steering wheel tightened noticeably and I chuckled inwardly, trying to contain my amusement when I noticed his mustache twitch in my peripheral vision. "You really wanna know?" 

I gestured for him to continue. 

"Probably not since Sanctuary became what it is now. It was the first time I'd gotten my dick wet since the world fell to shit, a nice little beta girl, you know. But hell, come to think of it, it was probably only good 'cause it was the first time in... Years, at least." 

I nodded, trying to recall any females that had been friendly with Negan's other number two around that time. I came up short, though, and assumed whoever she was had been only a one time thing. I shrugged it off. 

"What about you?"

 _Talk about catching me off guard._ I tried to appear calm and unaffected. "Uhm... What?"

He chuckled, expertly maneuvering the truck around a wandering dead one in the road, managing not to jerk it with such force that Negan was disturbed. "When's the last time you let someone get all hot n' heavy with ya? C'mon, ya ain't gonna make me jealous." 

I pursed my lips in thought. _Should I tell him...?_ "Err... It's been a while, Si." 

"Beta or Alpha?" 

"Uhh... Beta."

"Negan know about it?"

I scoffed. "Please," I said, rolling my eyes. "Negan's the one who chased the poor boy off. Caught him trying to sneak out the next morning, poor fella thought he could just walk right out the front door." 

Simon made a face. "Oh, so this... This wasn't recent?" 

I sighed. _God, this mouth._ "Ahh... No, it wasn't."

He was quiet again after that, dodging another biter easily. “You ever been with an Alpha?” 

I sighed, pulling away from him at that, causing Negan to stir for only a moment as his sleeping form adjusted to the sudden movement. Surprisingly, once I’d gotten settled sitting upright, he fell right back into a chorus of sleep-grunts and snores. I chuckled at that internally before returning my attention to Simon. “Simon…” 

He sighed. “Just a question, number two.” 

I smiled at his choice of nickname. “Not that it’s any of your business, but… Not technically, no.” 

He shot me a quick glance before turning back to the road. “Technically?” 

My eyes, once again, flitted to Negan, still fast asleep against the passenger side door. “It’s… complicated, I guess. You ever wondered where I got these scars?” I laughed humorlessly, pulling at my collar to reveal a few noticeable gashes near my shoulder... _Teeth marks. But not a full bite._

For a moment, a sadness fell over his features as he turned his head to look. His arm twitched as if he were keeping himself from reaching over to touch me, his eyes fixed on the spot…

_”Shit, Simon, look out!”_

“Fuck!” he growled, jerking the truck just in time to miss the corpse that was waddling toward us. This, of course, sent Negan reeling sideways just enough to disturb his sleep; a loud groan notified us of his regained consciousness. “Holy hell, what did I miss?” 

“They’re all over the road,” Simon muttered, fixated on another one staggering along further up. “Got a couple tailing us, but I think we can handle ‘em once we’ve arrived.” 

“How far off are we?” Negan inquired, his businesslike tone returning. 

Simon hummed in contemplation. “Should be comin’ up on ‘er soon. You’ve joined the conscious just in time, boss.”

“Yeah, well, bein’ conscious ain’t all it’s cracked up to be these days,” he grumbled, making a point to click his seatbelt into place. I chuckled a little at the action, my eyes traveling to Simon as he continued driving in his usual expert manner. He didn’t reciprocate the action and I couldn’t tell if it was due in part to the semi secret revealed to him or the fact that Negan was no longer completely oblivious to his surroundings. 

Before I could breathe a word of conversation, there was a tapping sound to my right; it was Lucille against the dash of the truck. “Well, I’ll be fucked! I’ve only seen pictures of this place! Goddamn, it’s in the perfect spot!” Negan proclaimed, enthusiasm clear upon his face. I couldn’t really place his excitement, not immediately realizing the significance of the building as Simon pulled the truck into the lot. He was right; we’d traveled well into boondocks to reach the building and I was all but certain it was one of those places made only available on a need-to-know basis. 

And that’s when it clicked. 

_Lucille_. She worked here. She was the only reason Negan, an Alpha, had _any_ idea of its existence or how it looked; if society were still standing, it would be problematic that he had even an _inkling_ regarding the location of this place. Of course, none of that mattered now. 

“Well, crew, let’s move out,” Simon mumbled, shutting off the truck and hopping out, long legs leaving him with no problem reaching the ground. Negan, too; I was the only one with an issue as my whole body jolted when my feet hit the gravel. Negan kept me from stumbling, grabbing my arm as I fell, holding me as steady as he could manage to. Grateful to him, I flashed him a small smile. “Got it from here, bro.” 

From the outside, we decided to clear as much of the area as we could before moving our stuff in. We were far enough into the countryside that Simon felt confident that our truck would be safe unguarded so the three of us armored up with our weapons and moved forward, Negan of course favoring Lucille while Simon and I stuck to knives with guns at the ready if needed. Upon entering, the place looked pretty barren. A front desk, covered in a layer of dust but otherwise untouched sat just before the entrance, a chair overturned and a filing cabinet tipped over just behind it, but the area bore few other signs of disturbance. The entire building seemed to have a sort of looming darkness about it, most of the windows having been overgrown by weeds at this point-- the building was well camouflaged, for sure. 

The front was mostly clear; a few biters came at us from the side, but Simon took care of them quickly and quietly before Negan and I had even seen them coming. We'd kicked through the first set of offices, saving the scavenging endeavors for after we'd disposed of as many corpses as possible. Animated ones, anyway.

Negan took out most of the ones that came at us, his precious bat being able to deliver blow after blow without getting stuck; Simon and I were facing that dilemma consistently with our knives. They slice quickly enough, but plunging blades into rotting skulls is always a gamble; there was always a chance that your weapon wouldn't be returning to you. Negan had saved us from that fate a handful of times in just under an hour as we worked our asses off to clear as much of the building as we could. There were about three floors total, the first being mostly offices. After entering each one with weapons poised, assuring that we were the only animated occupants in each, we'd elected to take a quick break before moving up to the second floor. 

“All we’ve seen so far are offices,” Negan observed, taking a seat on the overturned filing cabinet near the entrance. Simon stood to his left with his arms crossed in his usual businesslike manner while I piddled around in the desk drawers, nosy as always. “Where’d you find the boxes?” 

Simon sighed, running a hand through his thinning hair. “They were sittin’ behind that desk, actually. Think they must’ve been donations or somethin’, ‘cause I haven’t seen anything like ‘em again so far.” He shifted his attention to me, pulling open a previously jammed drawer with a small squeal of victory. “Findin’ anything over there, Nadia?” 

“Nothing of value to the cause, number two,” I mumbled, pulling out a candy bar that was god knows how old. “Dinner, anyone?” 

The desk, truthfully, held some useful information regarding the layout of the building. Of course, there would be no way for us to access any electronic files stored on the computer, but I was able to dig out a few semi valuable documents from the pile of papers scattered upon the surface. From what I gathered, as there was no straightforward map, this building was residential in the sense that omegas and their children _did_ live here; the second floor appeared to be individual rooms and living spaces while the third floor was reserved for storage and possibly overflow. In a few of the receptionist’s notes, there was a reference to a ‘B’ floor that Simon hypothesized to be a basement; Negan and I agreed. I think we were all a bit hesitant to investigate, however, because the basement was likely to be the emergency safe haven for the residents in case anything went wrong… which it did. It very much did. And given the nature of the building itself, there was really no telling what we’d find down there if we were to explore the area. 

_Two. Days._

“We’ve got to chance it,” I muttered, staring at a note in particular referring to a ‘surplus of S/H S.’ being delivered to ‘B floor’ shortly before the end of the… well, you know. “Who knows what we’ll find? Might even be some survivors down there!” 

“Nadia,” Negan glared, cutting off that thought immediately. “If anyone goes down there, it’s me and Simon. We’ll call you if things look manageable, but I am _not_ puttin’ you at risk where I can help it.” 

I scoffed. “What, you think just because I'm not an _Alpha_ , I can’t take care of myself?” 

Negan narrowed his eyes at me, an unspoken message flowing from him unto me. I glared back at him, though, refusing to be humiliated and belittled in front of Simon-- _not that I care what he thinks, anyway._

“Uh,” he interjected, though, seemingly more disturbed by the eye argument taking place than the prospect of entering the basement at all. “If big bro wants to play it that way, we let him, alright? Let us be the upstandin’ gentlemen that we are, Nadia.” 

Shifting my glare from one alpha to the next, I could do little more than huff and withdraw my knife from its sheath. “Whatever; let’s go clear out the second floor. I’m ready to check out our digs for the night.” 

 

Clearing out the second floor was easier than expected. Mainly so because most of our work had been done for us. 

This event, unfortunately, left us with two bedrooms between us all. 

“Jee-sus! Every one?” Negan exclaimed, stumbling backwards out of a suite.

“So far, boss,” Simon responded a bit solemnly, having just kicked open another door to find _another_ pair of corpses, rotted to the bones with bullets in their skulls. Or at the very least, bullet-shaped holes. 

After the gruesome discovery of the first two pair, I was unnerved; I played it cool, mostly, acting as if my decision to accompany Negan rather than clear it on my own was business only when in fact… deep down, I was disturbed; these were my sisters in biology, in hierarchy-- truth be told, I related more with the corpses spread amongst the floor than I did with the two alphas that I trailed behind on this particular mission. _I’m so sorry this happened to you._ Swallowing those feelings, I could only mosey on behind my brother as he grumbled to himself, kicking open door after door only to discover that the same fate lie behind them all. “Perfectly good waste of omegas,” he said, igniting only a weak spark of annoyance within me. _He’s just a knothead alpha,_ I told myself. _It’s how they are._

Simon let out a breath, regrouping with us out in the hall. “You notice none of these girls had guns on ‘em when they died?” 

Negan nodded, seeming to be too lost in his own mind to consider my presence at his side. “Yeah; the angle of the shots are all… Nah, none of these were self inflicted.” 

Simon had already moved on, choosing instead to peer into one of the final doors on the floor, from what we could tell. A dull roar from within had us all poised and ready, weapons drawn only for our arms to fall slack at our sides. “Except for this one,” Simon mumbled, stepping into the room with his knife at the ready. 

“Holy mother of fuck,” Negan muttered as he joined in, stepping carefully over the mess that the room had become; clothes were littered around the bed haphazardly, whole shelves lie overturned with personal effects scattered every which way, broken glass to complement it all. At the opposite end of the room, a tall closet stood-- door wide open to reveal an animated corpse, hanging by a handmade scarf noose from within it. He was growling, clawing, fighting to make his way toward us, yet… he couldn’t move due to his own restraints. 

He’d been there a while, that’s for sure; skin had started tearing around the knot, each push in our direction causing a sickening tearing sound to emanate from the body. If the noose had been of real, honest to god rope, his head probably would have snapped off by now. “Sick fuckin’ bastard.” 

“Do you think he did this?” I squeaked, prompting both males to throw me sympathetic glances as if they’d only just remembered my existence. Simon shook his head and stepped forward toward the corpse. 

“He’s the only one who coulda,” he said, plunging his knife into its skull. “None of those women or children shot themselves. ‘Just doesn’t make sense.” 

I frowned, glancing around the bedroom. “But why? This had to’ve happened about a year after all of this started…”

“That’s probably why, sis,” Negan spoke up, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder. “Dunno who this freak is, but… Mighta thought he was doin’ all these girls a favor, protecting them in the only way he could.” 

“They weren’t showin’ signs of distress or otherwise disturbance,” Simon butted in, having joined us in the doorway at this time. “Doesn’t look like he did anything… _else_ to ‘em.” 

I nodded, on some level appreciative of the comfort they were attempting to bestow upon me. Even Simon, who knew nothing of my personal reasons for discomfort, felt the need to step in. All I could do in return, however, is smile weakly and step out of the room, suddenly feeling quite sick. 

“There’s only one room left on this floor,” I said, gesturing to the final door on the hall, quietly wondering what sickness lie behind it. 

Simon and Negan exchanged quick looks before stepping ahead of me, Lucille poised and at the ready in Negan’s arms as Simon forced the door open.

Nothing happened, though. Simon stumbled backward with a look of confusion, Negan not reacting much differently; Lucille fell slack in his grip as his arm fell to his side. Curious, I moved closer, peering into the room alongside them. _It’s empty._

“...huh.” Negan said, stepping in. Simon and I followed, glancing around expectantly. “Guess this is us for the night.” 

“There’s the basement!” I chimed in excitedly, partially just ready to leave this floor behind us. “Or maybe the third floor?” 

“Third floor’s a no go,” Simon said with a frown, inspecting the pristine bedding. “Whoever was on that floor wasn’t as lucky; it’s blocked off on both stairwells, could hear the dead clawin’ from where I stood on the last visit. It’s overrun.” 

“Think they stored their dead there? I mean, those corpses weren’t fresh, but I think this place had been standin’ and operatin’ as _something_ for a year or so after everything went to shit,” Negan responded, taking a seat on the mattress. “Coulda moved anything of value to the basement, started throwin’ corpses in there ‘till they couldn’t fit anymore. It wouldn’t be the first place we’ve seen to have that idea.”

And he was right on that point. Negan and his men had gone on many adventures in search of supplies, shelter, you name it; they’d seen the remains of at least hundreds of businesses like this as well as the beginnings of what could have been functional housing units. They all, however, lacked the structure that kept places like The Sanctuary going. Places like this… They were for those who were just trying to hold out, to make it through. They were for those who were waiting to be saved. 

They didn’t realize that, in this world, you have to save yourself. 

“So, the basement is on the table?” I asked, eyes bright as could be. _I’m gonna get me those fuckin’ suppressants if it’s the last thing I do. I will **not** lose my reputation, I will **not** become a target in my own home!_

They sighed- almost in unison -before nodding weakly, grabbing their weapons from where they’d set them down. Before I could hop away, ready to take on whatever this awful place had in store for me on its lowest level, Negan took my arm. “But first, we’re getting our shit out of the truck and settling in for the night. I’m fuckin’ beat. Might take a little _peek_ at the basement before it gets too dark, just to see what we’re dealin’ with, but we’ve still got this floor to raid for supplies while the sun’s in the sky.” 

I made a face at the statement, but ultimately agreed; he was right. The basement _could_ and would have to wait. Besides… 

We still had to figure out sleeping arrangements.


End file.
